There are a million and one downsides that come with the prospect of being a single parent to four children. Lately the one that is getting me the most is the shear amount of work it is to be everything to four other real live human beings that have actual social lives. I mean, this is nothing like taking care of four hamsters. (Not that I do that because it would be way too much work for me!)
My littles consist of a pre-k, second, fifth and sixth grader. A window into this week shows that we have four pint sized doctor appointments, four dance classes, five soccer games, two cross country meets, two cross country practices, one lunch date, two play dates, one birthday party, one family party and I have a couple of meetings for moi. And did I forget to mention bedtime routines, squabble control, homework, lunches, snacks and the shear amount of paperwork these little people generate?? (I'm not even going to discuss laundry and cleaning because it makes my head hurt until it explodes and every time that happens I have to buy a new laptop and four children also go through money like water so I can't afford a new laptop.) All this and we don't even have school on Friday. This is not an unusual week, it's just how it is around here.
I know everyone and their brother are going to say it's just a matter of simplifying our schedule and cutting a whole lotta stuff out. But it's really not that *simple.* Each child really only has one or two regular things they actually do outside of school, but multiply that by four and we're quickly in deep. And I guess I'm just a permissive as heck parent, but I want my kids to feel like they have an enriching life outside of home, I think they deserve that. They reap all sorts of positive benefits physically and socially from their activities and I happen to think that's important. So I'm in in for the long haul and I'm not even complaining. Not really.
But, but, but...sometimes I'm tired as heck from all this schlepping around. And more than that, I'm thinking to myself that this is not how life is meant to be. Kids are meant to have two parents to do the schlepping. Admittedly, even when I was in a full fledged married arrangement, I was still the keeper of all things children. The littles' dad has a long commute to work and travels and they just didn't ever see much of him during the week. But somewhere in my mind I knew I had back-up. Now I just feel like things are often backed-up all over me. I know I feel overwhelmed by this for me. I know I feel sad about this for my kids. I know I feel an overall injustice in it all. And though I try not to, in a self-absorbed way I feel like it is way different to parent one or two kids in a single parent world than it is to single parent a larger family, but I could just be feeling sorry for myself. In the end it doesn't matter. I've got to find a way to work with what I have because I wouldn't take even one less of these amazing (and busy) kids. And oh yeah, I suppose I could accept some help every little once in a while, but the thought of it is so painful for me I'll certainly have to work my way up to it.
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2 comments:
You're an amazing woman, God Bless
Kerry
My kids each dropped an activity this week. For one, that was her only activity. The other has two more, and the youngest doesn't have any yet. Before my two dropped their activity each, I was really worried at how busy our lives had become! I know it will be again, but I am kind of glad they dropped them for now, even though I was a little disapointed. :-)
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