holiday

It's Thanksgiving Day 2007. This is the first holiday I have spent away from my children - and any family - ever. Yesterday as they left I began crying and woke up on the sofa hours later. It must have been a good cry. They are calling frequently and having a good time. It is good they are there with family. When the kids got to my bil's house they called again. Uncle P wants to talk to you, they said. Uncle P used to be one of my very best friends in the world. Lots of physical moves away, four kids and now a divorce later, I just figured I had pretty much lost access to that friend. He got on the phone to say Happy Thanksgiving and to chat. And then he said, "I love you, baby." Cue more crying. I love him, too. I miss my family. Not just my kids, but my moody ex-husband, my crazy relatives and their "interesting friends." Only most of those people aren't my family anymore and that is not how I'm going to be spending my holidays from now on.

When I woke last night I decided to go to the movie store and stop by the market. Despite the brand new battery (and tires) my car received last week, it wouldn't start. I took that as a sign that I was meant to stay home and there being no other choice, that's what I did. I brought my pillow and my comforter to the sofa and began watching the hours of programs I have saved up on Tivo over the last two weeks.